The Fake Wedding

I promised to keep a secret.  And when I made that promise I was in shock from the news and stammered out an okay. Afterwards, with time to think, this was not a secret that I wanted to keep.  It wasn't right.

I'm going to tell that secret here.  You might think that bad of me. But the secret involves me and I am angered that it was kept.  No one who reads this blog is effected by it, and if they are, the truth is one that should be out anyway.

In 2008, my husband and I separated. It wasn't messy, we simply parted ways and moved on in different directions.  We remained friends and didn't initiate a divorce right away because there was no hurry. Speed ahead a few years, I began the process of a divorce, but had some financial difficulties and didn't go ahead with it.  No big deal he said, he would do it.

Fast forward now to 2011.  He decides that he is going to propose to his current girlfriend.  I'm happy for him and I send an email to see what he wants to do.  He says, no problem, I'm filing right after xmas.  I'm not working due to medical conditions, but he assures me that he is the one getting married, so he will handle the divorce.  Perfect.

Months go by. Nothing. I message again. He's procrastinating. They've already set a date.  October 13, 2012.  Better get on it.

July. Still hasn't filed. Finally gets things together and files the beginning of August. End of September comes and I have heard nothing.

The next email informs me that he filled out part of the paperwork wrong and had to re-file. We will not be divorced by the wedding. I ask, what are you going to do?

He replies their justice of the peace has agreed to give them a fake wedding.  Yes, a fake one.  And they will sign a real marriage certificate when our divorce goes through. Are you fucking kidding me? Also, he asks, can you not say anything? Our guests believe it's real and no one knows because we are embarrassed.

First of all, if I was his fiance I would punch him in the throat.

Second, am I that worthless that you can't even finalize a divorce with your first wife before you go on? You had a whole year to get the divorce.  So, scratch that, you have more then a year because he obviously knew he were going to propose before Christmas.

When he posted "I'm a married man" I just wanted to scream.  Yeah you are.  Married to me still! How do you like that? Every wedding anniversary you ever have will be a lie.  Do you know why? Because you don't want anyone to know.

I am not angry at him for getting married.  That ship sailed long ago.  But I do think that both me and his fiance/current-fake-wife deserve more respect then this. She deserves to have a perfect day and know that on that day every year she can be proud of her wedding day.

Enough of my ranting.  It will all be over soon. And I will be happy to close that chapter.  I wish them the best and I hope that this doesn't overshadow their marriage.  Speaking as a women, I can tell you that THAT will be leverage later on. :p

The List: Day 10 & 11

Yes, I'm doubling up today.  I missed yesterday.  Actually I did begin it, saved it as a draft and forgot about it.  So here we go!

Describe your most embarrassing moment.

There are so many of these.  I'm not sure I'm willing to share the very worst one.  But I'll share a lighthearted one from when I was a teenager. 

I believe I was 17 at the time and of course had my fair share of crushes.  One of these boys I was particularly fond of.  I was driving one summer day, window down, music up when I saw him walking down the street.  Trying to play it cool I didn't even glace his way, until he yelled "Hey!" to me as I drove by. Shocked, I turned my head back to see him and yell a greeting back, when I remembered I was near a stop sign. 

When I looked ahead, that stop sign was coming straight at my car, as I had veered right in my process of being boy-crazy.  I was lucky to have been going slow enough and stopped a foot or so away from the sign. But it was pretty clear the people around me what had happened. 

Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

1. People touching my belly button. Just don't. Don't even joke about it!
2. Closed minded people.
3. People who are cruel to animals.
4. When the cat bites my toes in the middle of the night. 
5. Dirty toothbrush. Even just left over toothpaste in it.. not allowed. Blech. 
6. When someone finished the milk/juice/etc and then leaves the carton on the counter instead of throwing it away.
7. When the cats clean their litter paws in the bathtub.
8. When random people park in my space.  It's a long story, but it drives me insane!
9. People who ask "How are you?" when really, they don't want to know. 
10. Cashiers who ask if you've found everything you were looking for, then stare blankly at you if you say no. 

Almost Turkey Day!

Today I cleaned out the fridge, made a big spot and plunked the frozen down so that it can thaw. I enjoy Thanksgiving.  I wouldn't say it's my favorite holiday (that one would be Halloween) but it's a close runner up.

When I was growing up, it was one of the only times my family was together.  And when I say family, I mean my grandpa, dad and Mary.  It wasn't a big thing.  There wasn't a huge table with lots of people, it was a small affair with Mary's dry turkey and enough food to feed a family of twelve.

I have fond memories of these gatherings and I have always made the time to celebrate it in some way.  We don't do family dinners anymore. Grandpa passed years ago. Mary is chest deep in a new business with her boyfriend.  My dad and his girlfriend spend most with her parents, but there have been a few times I have spent it with them.  So I've taken it upon myself to make a supper for myself and my significant other.

It is always way too much food for two.  But my turkey is never dry. I stick to traditional... I make my own stuffing, mash my own potatoes; you won't find Stovetop here.

Small things that you bring along with you as your grow and age.  I wouldn't change things in any way.