There is No Free Pass

Blood Relation
A person who is related to another by birth rather than by marriage.

Nothing angers me more then when someone says "Oh but they are your family" or "They are your blood relatives". People use this as an excuse to forgive one another or put hurtful things into the past because being family gives them some sort of pass for being a jerk.

I have never agreed with this, nor have I ever applied to my life. People look at me like I have three heads when I tell them this. I get questions like, how can you not talk (insert relation here)? They are the only family you have!

First of all, family can defined in a number of ways. A person does not have to share your ancestry to be family. I consider my boyfriend, my close friends and even my pets family. To me, these are people that are there for me. They have supported me, been there through the good and bad, comforted me, celebrated with me and are people that I can't imagine living without.

Yes, I have real relatives that I consider family. But not all. Why would I consider someone who abused me in childhood family? Yet still people say that I should forgive.

I will not forgive or forget. That would be denying who I am and what I went through. I no longer am pulled down by things in the past (for the most part), but that does mean that they receive a free pass for the things they did. I'm not talking about they stole my $20 and didn't give it back. When someone helps, assists or turns a blind eye to physical, emotional or sexual abuse to a child, they don't deserve forgiveness. No matter who they are or what their relation is to you.

I choose not to forgive these people and let them back into my life. And it is still a topic that angers me to this day, because still people ask me those questions.

I hope that these people have not forgiven someone who has traumatized them in life...