Blood Relation
A person who is related to another by birth rather than by marriage.
Nothing angers me more then when someone says "Oh but they are your family" or "They are your blood relatives". People use this as an excuse to forgive one another or put hurtful things into the past because being family gives them some sort of pass for being a jerk.
I have never agreed with this, nor have I ever applied to my life. People look at me like I have three heads when I tell them this. I get questions like, how can you not talk (insert relation here)? They are the only family you have!
First of all, family can defined in a number of ways. A person does not have to share your ancestry to be family. I consider my boyfriend, my close friends and even my pets family. To me, these are people that are there for me. They have supported me, been there through the good and bad, comforted me, celebrated with me and are people that I can't imagine living without.
Yes, I have real relatives that I consider family. But not all. Why would I consider someone who abused me in childhood family? Yet still people say that I should forgive.
I will not forgive or forget. That would be denying who I am and what I went through. I no longer am pulled down by things in the past (for the most part), but that does mean that they receive a free pass for the things they did. I'm not talking about they stole my $20 and didn't give it back. When someone helps, assists or turns a blind eye to physical, emotional or sexual abuse to a child, they don't deserve forgiveness. No matter who they are or what their relation is to you.
I choose not to forgive these people and let them back into my life. And it is still a topic that angers me to this day, because still people ask me those questions.
I hope that these people have not forgiven someone who has traumatized them in life...
Monday, August 13, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Pills Everywhere
When I was younger, I used to see all the medication bottles that my grandpa had and associated that with getting old. The older you got, the more pills you needed. Made sense to me. Old bodies slowly begin to fail, that is the natural process.
When I was given my first prescription drug at 13, I was indifferent about it. I knew that I needed it and it was fine. Just a couple pills, right? By the time I was in high school, it had changed, but it will still just a couple. I lacked discipline and didn't always take them. It wasn't life or death and if I could go back in time, I don't think I would have changed it.
In my early twenties, the doctor's discovered solutions to some other problems I was having, which added another pill to what I already was taking. Shortly after that came great pain. Extreme enough that it took me into the hospital.
They told me that I had a liver infection and my kidneys were leaking. The reasoning? Seemed that the medications were weakening them. Did I mention my grandpa died because of all the medication he was on, that his liver finally gave out? It's called Drug-Induced Liver disease and it's fairly common when you get older, so we were told.
So here I am, told that because I've been on medication for so long, but body is having a hard time keeping up. The fix? Stay on your meds and add this antibiotic to it.
It scared me for a long time. My kidneys leaked for many years and I didn't take my meds all the time, for fear that I would speed up the leaking and end up with kidney disease.
Fast forward to today. I'm 30 years old and I have progressed to having one of these handy dandy pill organizers. It's become that bad. I was always a sick child but never realized that I would have so many different problems as I grew into adult hood.
As it stands right now, I take 8 pills a day. Yes, 8. One is still increasing, so within a couple months, you can make that number 10. Those are just pills. I also take 5 injections a day.
My cupboard looks like a pharmacy. But what can you do? Without the medications I have pain or other complications. And with them I will develop other complications as I get older. I've chosen to life as well as I can now... with all the drugs. I might not live a long life, but at least I'll have actually lived part of it. Not just sat in pain and misery.
When I was given my first prescription drug at 13, I was indifferent about it. I knew that I needed it and it was fine. Just a couple pills, right? By the time I was in high school, it had changed, but it will still just a couple. I lacked discipline and didn't always take them. It wasn't life or death and if I could go back in time, I don't think I would have changed it.
In my early twenties, the doctor's discovered solutions to some other problems I was having, which added another pill to what I already was taking. Shortly after that came great pain. Extreme enough that it took me into the hospital.
They told me that I had a liver infection and my kidneys were leaking. The reasoning? Seemed that the medications were weakening them. Did I mention my grandpa died because of all the medication he was on, that his liver finally gave out? It's called Drug-Induced Liver disease and it's fairly common when you get older, so we were told.
So here I am, told that because I've been on medication for so long, but body is having a hard time keeping up. The fix? Stay on your meds and add this antibiotic to it.
It scared me for a long time. My kidneys leaked for many years and I didn't take my meds all the time, for fear that I would speed up the leaking and end up with kidney disease.
As it stands right now, I take 8 pills a day. Yes, 8. One is still increasing, so within a couple months, you can make that number 10. Those are just pills. I also take 5 injections a day.
My cupboard looks like a pharmacy. But what can you do? Without the medications I have pain or other complications. And with them I will develop other complications as I get older. I've chosen to life as well as I can now... with all the drugs. I might not live a long life, but at least I'll have actually lived part of it. Not just sat in pain and misery.
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