Can I get a Woot Woot?
Finally, after a long month and a bit, the internet is finally here!!!! *hugs her 'puter tight*
Actually it wasn't as bad as I thought. But the nights were I was sitting at home, bored, I wished that I could log in and get a little LoTRO time. I survived it all...
So, I am happily settled into my apartment and loving it. My own space. My own rules. Love it. Life in general is going quite wonderfully. Although I am still working 2 jobs, the one has told me that I will be moving to full time hours in December. This decision has made me very happy. It's hard to come by a graphic design job...harder to find a full time one. So I am defiently looking forward to that.
Fort St. John has been my home away from home. There is consideration about eventually relocating there. But I'm not sure yet. The fact is, my friends are all there. I have very few friends in this city. Other then my family, there isn't anything really keeping me here. But that is a decision that won't be made for a long time.
:)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Coming to Terms
Everyone has a story. Everyone can look back at themselves as teenagers or young adults and smirk at the way they thought back then. Some of it would seem ridiculous and immature. Yet other things will still shine clearly through, because no matter how we acted as our younger selves, that was still us. That person back then is what made the person now.
When I look back, I remember a lot of the confusion. Some things that I was forced to come to terms with at a young age, that maybe I wasn't quite ready for. I felt that I handled it well...but of course when you are young you feel like you have done everyone well. But in truth I did. I took the information that was given to me and lived my life with it. I learned it. The how and why. I researched it. I truely understood what it was that I was coming to terms with.
It was only in the last few years of my life, that I doubted all of that. All of what I knew and believed for 10 years just got up and walked out on me.
Then suddenly, before me, stood a decision. A decision I never thought that I would make. Others would make it, but not me. Yet here it was. And I thought about it and I made that decision. One that I thought was the right one. Not everyone thought so. Not everyone supported it.
Yet it was "everyone" that ultimately won. The decision that I made, didn't matter. Because in fact, what I was told that many years ago, was still true. Nature has decided to trick me and play a cruel joke. Laughing in my face as it pulled everything out from under me.
Set with that decision again, would I make the same choice? Probably not. The pain and frustration is not worth it to me. That's a weak answer. Because I know many who would gladly go through the world's worst torture to even just try. But not me.
Maybe that makes me an inferior human. Maybe it makes me a coward...weak...
Either way, it still makes me...me.
When I look back, I remember a lot of the confusion. Some things that I was forced to come to terms with at a young age, that maybe I wasn't quite ready for. I felt that I handled it well...but of course when you are young you feel like you have done everyone well. But in truth I did. I took the information that was given to me and lived my life with it. I learned it. The how and why. I researched it. I truely understood what it was that I was coming to terms with.
It was only in the last few years of my life, that I doubted all of that. All of what I knew and believed for 10 years just got up and walked out on me.
Then suddenly, before me, stood a decision. A decision I never thought that I would make. Others would make it, but not me. Yet here it was. And I thought about it and I made that decision. One that I thought was the right one. Not everyone thought so. Not everyone supported it.
Yet it was "everyone" that ultimately won. The decision that I made, didn't matter. Because in fact, what I was told that many years ago, was still true. Nature has decided to trick me and play a cruel joke. Laughing in my face as it pulled everything out from under me.
Set with that decision again, would I make the same choice? Probably not. The pain and frustration is not worth it to me. That's a weak answer. Because I know many who would gladly go through the world's worst torture to even just try. But not me.
Maybe that makes me an inferior human. Maybe it makes me a coward...weak...
Either way, it still makes me...me.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Changing With The Season
Look, it's my blog and I'll post as little or as often as I want to. Truth be told, a lot has been happening and I just haven't been able to bring myself to sit down and write about it. Part of is was that I didn't want anyone to know yet...and the other part was that I really hadn't dealt with it myself yet.
Last time I posted, I was having some health issues (as usual!). Honestly, those are still going on. The doctor now has an idea of what it is. It's not life threatening. It's rare, but mearly annoying and not anything that will require drastic measures. We are just waiting on some testing as of right now.
Moving along...literally. I will be moving in October to a 1 bedroom apartment. The reasoning behind this is that Josh and I have decided to split up. This is a mutual decision, upon an few incidents that made both of us realize that we really are truely not happy. Not that it doesn't make it hard. I spent a good couple of weeks in a haze going through every emotion. But I've come to terms with things, and I am looking forward to being on my own. It's way over due...
Last time I posted, I was having some health issues (as usual!). Honestly, those are still going on. The doctor now has an idea of what it is. It's not life threatening. It's rare, but mearly annoying and not anything that will require drastic measures. We are just waiting on some testing as of right now.
Moving along...literally. I will be moving in October to a 1 bedroom apartment. The reasoning behind this is that Josh and I have decided to split up. This is a mutual decision, upon an few incidents that made both of us realize that we really are truely not happy. Not that it doesn't make it hard. I spent a good couple of weeks in a haze going through every emotion. But I've come to terms with things, and I am looking forward to being on my own. It's way over due...
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Falling In
It's not quite like falling in a pit. More like you were walking through the bush, stopped short at the hole and are wobbling back and forth, trying not to fall in.
That's what it's like when you know that it's coming. You know you will fall, it's just a matter of how long you can hold on and whether or not someone pushes you in.
Life is out of control for me. Both good and bad things are swirling around me at the same time...fighting against each other...deciding which one will win and get to affect me that day. I want to give in and let everything in all at once and see if it makes me implode (or explode even).
But I can't..and I won't.
I know this is another of my famously cryptic posts. But some things should not be revealed until...well until it is the right time. A select few of you may know what I'm talking about...but that is a very few indeed.
That's what it's like when you know that it's coming. You know you will fall, it's just a matter of how long you can hold on and whether or not someone pushes you in.
Life is out of control for me. Both good and bad things are swirling around me at the same time...fighting against each other...deciding which one will win and get to affect me that day. I want to give in and let everything in all at once and see if it makes me implode (or explode even).
But I can't..and I won't.
I know this is another of my famously cryptic posts. But some things should not be revealed until...well until it is the right time. A select few of you may know what I'm talking about...but that is a very few indeed.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Always, All At Once
I'm not gonna lie, it's been a hectic couple of weeks.
Firstly, I have felt like crap for the last 6 days. Migraine, tired, moody...hungry. Pregnant, you ask? Doubt it. I believe it has to do with this...infection?...yes, lets call it an infection for now, that I'm fighting. The antibiotics that I was given worked slightly, but after treatment was finished things started back up again. So, until we know more, I am chalking up all these problems to my body working overtime to get rid of the unknown issue that I'm having.
In other news, I've had some great job interviews. But again, I am no longer getting hopes up. Just rocking the interviews and hoping that someone else doesn't rock theirs better.
There is a lot on my mind, but I'm not yet ready to share it. So for now, you will just have to wait a bit longer.
Firstly, I have felt like crap for the last 6 days. Migraine, tired, moody...hungry. Pregnant, you ask? Doubt it. I believe it has to do with this...infection?...yes, lets call it an infection for now, that I'm fighting. The antibiotics that I was given worked slightly, but after treatment was finished things started back up again. So, until we know more, I am chalking up all these problems to my body working overtime to get rid of the unknown issue that I'm having.
In other news, I've had some great job interviews. But again, I am no longer getting hopes up. Just rocking the interviews and hoping that someone else doesn't rock theirs better.
There is a lot on my mind, but I'm not yet ready to share it. So for now, you will just have to wait a bit longer.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
A New Assignment
So it has come to the attention of many (myself included) that I need something to do. The job hunt is frustrating me and is starting to pull my confidence down a bit. It was suggested maybe I step back from that and try volunteering somewhere for a bit. Get my mind and body moving with something, even if that something doesn't pay.
I thought about it...I looked for opportunities within the city. Some were interesting, but none really struck me as something I would enjoy. However, one day while I was reading the ramblings of my fellow bloggers, I followed a link to one writers Examiner page. She just happened to be the Video Game Examiner for the site. And she told me to check things out, as there might be something I was interested in. I was curious to what this was all about...this was the first time I had visited this place. But it was quite clear that it is a popular place to go.
It is a dominatly US site, but I was curious at the "Write for Us" label and took a peek. Turns out they are expanding a Canadian Edition of the site and are still filling positions. In a "What the Heck" moment, I sent in my experience in the gaming community and a sample of writing.
Yesterday, they emailed me an offer to write for them! I believe this will fill my time quite nicely. I am filling in the position for Girl Gamer...meaning I get to write gaming articles on whatever my choosing, but giving them from a female perspective. I will be set up within the week, so today will be spent getting a bio ready and sending in the info that is needed for them to set up my access.
I thought about it...I looked for opportunities within the city. Some were interesting, but none really struck me as something I would enjoy. However, one day while I was reading the ramblings of my fellow bloggers, I followed a link to one writers Examiner page. She just happened to be the Video Game Examiner for the site. And she told me to check things out, as there might be something I was interested in. I was curious to what this was all about...this was the first time I had visited this place. But it was quite clear that it is a popular place to go.
It is a dominatly US site, but I was curious at the "Write for Us" label and took a peek. Turns out they are expanding a Canadian Edition of the site and are still filling positions. In a "What the Heck" moment, I sent in my experience in the gaming community and a sample of writing.
Yesterday, they emailed me an offer to write for them! I believe this will fill my time quite nicely. I am filling in the position for Girl Gamer...meaning I get to write gaming articles on whatever my choosing, but giving them from a female perspective. I will be set up within the week, so today will be spent getting a bio ready and sending in the info that is needed for them to set up my access.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Welcome?
Do I really need to welcome you back? Most of you are followers from before...some followers I have lost and, well, I'm not really that upset about it. I've never encouraged much public vocalization on my blogs, but privately, you can be sure that I had many discussions with people.
So where to begin...
This will be, as always, a personal blog for me. It might be a bitch about my day; it might be talk about a current world happening; it might just be something completely random that I decide that I want to share that day. There is no theme here.
Things should be tweaked and running after the weekend hopefully. I'll be working on it this week then taking off for a camping trip for the long weekend.
So, again, Welcome Back! Enjoy the ride!
I've tried to link to the blogs that I enjoy and read the most, but if you have a blog you want me to check out, let me know. I'm always happy to exchange links with someone and promote them if I like it.
So where to begin...
This will be, as always, a personal blog for me. It might be a bitch about my day; it might be talk about a current world happening; it might just be something completely random that I decide that I want to share that day. There is no theme here.
Things should be tweaked and running after the weekend hopefully. I'll be working on it this week then taking off for a camping trip for the long weekend.
So, again, Welcome Back! Enjoy the ride!
I've tried to link to the blogs that I enjoy and read the most, but if you have a blog you want me to check out, let me know. I'm always happy to exchange links with someone and promote them if I like it.
Friday, July 23, 2010
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